I am not a fan of routine — it says boredom, a road regularly travelled and only heading the one way — to the end…give me chaos and uncertainty any day so I can FEEL something….an edge-lord before it even became a thing.
But life and middle-age has dulled that desire to throw everything up in the air to see how the sticks fall. Life can only kick you in the balls so many times before you give up and let the long road of routine envelope you in its comfy coat of middle-age, a job that you can coast with…..a life of monotony awaits.
And this monotony of lockdown made my deepest fears a reality although I see now that my desire to keep things up in the air for as long as possible has been a main contributer to my burn-out — no creativity or courage, just fragility and frustration.
In conversation with a mate yesterday (himself no stranger to anxiety and worry), we talked and reflected on how we both had — in his case — and have to — in mine rebuild things after facing the slow-build challenges of something like burn-out.
We discussed the importance of good friendship and checking-in, striving to be our best selves in whatever circumstances and the importance of developing self-knowledge but what really stood out for both of us was the importance of control and routine.
Routine doesn’t need to be a dirty word — full of dull, grey and constraining commitments…we need to reframe it as;
- Routine allows us to focus on process NOT outcome
- Routine gives us the opportunity to focus our attention
- Routine allows us to incorporate different rituals — physical, emotional, family, creative, learning, and;
- Routine enables us to cope with the inevitable challenges of daily life
Routine then is a positive lens of “control”. It isn’t weak to seek control, or feel like you are settling in life. Combining control and routine with other characteristics can be a major contributing factor to a more satisfied life.
W.H. Auden had it right — “Routine, in an intelligent man, is a sign of ambition”
